Finding Balance In Motherhood: Is It Just A Myth?
Overwhelmed by the demands of parenting? Learn the secrets to finding a better balance so you can fall in love with motherhood again.
Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt a little overwhelmed by the pressures of juggling the multiple moving parts of having a family? And maintaining a home? And keeping up with your responsibilities outside of the home? And trying to have a life of your own?
To say motherhood is busy is an understatement. It’s a full-time job in and of itself.
In fact, it can be so consuming that by the time we get around to doing the things we want to do, we’re burnt out. What once was enjoyable now feels like a chore, and we just don’t have the energy or the desire to participate.
Ready for a change?
Just like business professionals, parents need to find ways to manage all the “have-to’s” and “want-to’s”. We need to find ways to keep on top of everything and find that perfect “work/life balance”.
Or do we?
Let’s be real here. Who wants a perfect balance of work and play anyway? I certainly don’t! Because being balanced would mean spending equal amounts of time and energy on everything.
And I don’t know about you, but the idea of spending more time on what I have to do and less time doing what I want to do doesn’t sound that great to me.
There’s a better way. Rather than finding a “perfect” balance in motherhood, which is both impossible and undesirable, we can instead work toward a better balance. One that allows us to be more efficient and automated so we have MORE time and energy to live our lives and enjoy our families.
Here are 5 strategies to help you do just that.
5 SECRETS FOR FINDING “BALANCE” IN MOTHERHOOD
1. ORGANIZE YOUR TIME
Find simple routines to automate and break up difficult parts of the day.
For myself, I use block scheduling. It’s my favorite way to organize my day and it keeps me sane. Planning my day in blocks helps me to be more productive and allows me to schedule in plenty of leisure time.
I know, it sounds silly to schedule something like that. But you’re a busy mom too. You know how hard it is to make that happen sometimes! So rather than leaving it up to chance, plan for it.
Routines and schedules are life-savers for kids too. It gives them a predictable path to follow, especially during transitions. It takes a little practice at first, but with consistency, things become so automatic, kids can do most of the routines themselves.
That means less work and stress for you.
2. DO THE HARDEST, MOST IMPORTANT THINGS FIRST
Mark Twain once said, “If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.”
There’s nothing worse than the nagging feeling of an uncompleted task. And the longer we try to ignore the task, the heavier it weighs on our minds leaving us feeling stressed and unproductive.
So whatever your biggest task is for the day – tackle it first (or as soon as you can in the morning). You’ll be amazed at how much lighter and more productive you feel.
Have you been putting off responding to a voicemail? Is there a chore you’re dreading? Whatever it is – just do it.
3. CHOOSE YOUR COMMITMENTS WISELY
Don’t say yes to everything. But don’t feel you have to say no to everything either.
Instead, choose wisely. Keep only the things in your life that move you and your family forward in the ways you want.
It’s all too easy to get sucked into the hustle and bustle of other families. It’s also easy to feel guilty when your family does things other families don’t. Just keep your blinders on and do what’s right for your family.
Sometimes that means being productive, and other times it means making memories or doing things that bring you and others joy.
4. LET GO OF PERFECTION
We’ve all heard this one before. But as women – and parents – it’s extremely difficult to get out of the comparison trap. We’re constantly asking ourselves questions like: “Am I doing this right?”, “Am I doing enough?”, or even “Am I enough?”
We feel surrounded by moms who seem to have their lives put together better than us. But we need to remember (and I’m including myself in this) that what we usually see is the “best of” version.
On social media, at school pick-up, at church…wherever we go, we’re constantly comparing the strengths of others to our weaknesses. But what we don’t realize is that the same moms we’re watching often feel just as insecure as we do!
Part of motherhood is finding that balance between what we want to improve and what we’re okay with. And then…letting go of the rest.
5. GET HELP WHEN YOU CAN
We don’t have to do everything to be a good mom. So why do we try to take it all on?
I’m especially guilty of this one. It’s not easy for me to reach out. But some things that have helped lighten my load are:
- Involving my kids more in chores
- Simplifying meals
- Speed cleaning
- Trading after-school pickup with friends
- Letting my husband help more so I can get out of the house
I don’t know why that last one took me so long to be okay with. My husband is a huge help and is completely capable. But for some reason, I always felt guilty including him in the nitty-gritty parts of parenting, especially so I could go do things I wanted to do.
Luckily he coached me into it and we’ve all benefited.
SO, IS FINDING THE PERFECT BALANCE IN MOTHERHOOD A MYTH?
Well yes, and no.
Creating a healthy “work/life balance” might feel impossible. After all, it is a moving target. But while a perfect balance might be unattainable, a better balance is totally doable.
Because it’s not about perfection. It’s about making the most of the time we have.
We’ll still feel overwhelmed at times. But the strategies in this post will help shift things back in the right direction when life get crazy.
For even more help on creating working systems that allow you to feel calm and in control, be sure to grab a free copy of The Peaceful Parent Starter Guide. You can get it here.
OTHER HELPFUL POSTS:
- Block Scheduling 101: What It Is, Why It Works, And How To Get Started
- How To Be A More Intentional Parent Every Day
- 5 Secrets Of A Stress-Free Parent: How To Stop Being So Stressed
- How To Beat Mom Burnout By Creating Simple And Effective Routines
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